Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Thumbing Their Gnosis at Universal Blog Mantra

--=+ Posted by Hello

[This was written on April 14, 2005...seems like years ago. Fictional character blogs (Moosetopia, Gourmet Station's T. Alexander, Barbie, etc.) were all the rage back then, at least with blog consultants who had no qualms about trampling on the core values of blogging. This originally appeared at another site, with which I am no longer associated.]

Funny how some "blog consultants", web marketers, and business bloggers have unceremoniously abandoned their Universal Blog Mantra...at the drop of a Fictional Character blog's hat. Dunce hat.

Not long ago, when someone asked what the essential aspects or qualities of a blog were, the Universal Blog Mantra was chanted loudly:

"Authenticity. Passion. Transparency."

Not anymore.

The Revised, Restricted Blog Chant now is:

"Entertainment. Experimentation. Fun."

Go chant that to any struggling small business person, or collapsing corporate colossus...and see how far you get.


"We at the Bulbous Blog Consultancy recommmend a business blog that is entertaining.

We will experiment with charmingly irrelevant personas, off-the-wall imaginary critters, and delightfully dysfunctional fictional characters.

These unreal entities will pretend to know and promote your brand and products.

You need not trouble yourself with trying to establish a candid, honest, and open line of communication with your customers.

That's the old blogging concept. Blogs must move forward. We cannot limit blogs to such antiquated marketing ideas from several weeks or months ago. We must move into the future of blogging, with fresh and clever new thinking.

We're sure your customers would rather interact with a cartoon gorilla, talking yard rake, or simulated pig. Much more in keeping with your corporate culture, your leadership style, and your standards and practices.

That way, customers can have fun at the blog. In other words, the blog will not inform or inspire customers, but will instead amuse them. Merriment for all.

It's a proven fact, and we can provide you with the research reports later, if you are so fussy and uptight to demand it, that when people are having fun and being silly, they tend to buy a lot of product."

No, that's not thunder you hear.

That's the roars of laughter cascading out of the conference room.


A blog consultant just got tossed out the 12th floor window.

Ouch. That had to hurt!

[signed] Steven Streight aka Vaspers the Grate

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