Thursday, June 16, 2005

Bloggers: Bizarre Mutant Web Dwellers

"stockholm statue fontene"

Bloggers: Bizarre Mutant Web Dwellers

(1.) If you're a blogger, you're bizarre.

You use the word "blog" like you not only understand it, but also aren't bothered about how ugly and suspicious it sounds to non-bloggers.

Every time you say "blog" it sounds like some loathsome, spurious, slithering thing...that you shouldn't even want to know about.

(2.) If you're a blogger, you're mutated.

You've been processed by the blogospheric fusterings and blusterings that ring your sleeping soul like photo-dynamic cluster-locution clutter-lakes.

You bang away on your keyboard, and you click away with your mouse, and you squint at the screen...aggressively, interactively, explosively.

You devour, debate, and debunk.

You seem more confident and opinionated than you were in your pre-blogging days.

You look people straight in the eyes and speak what you think, not caring what their uninteresting opinion may be. But you listen to it anyway, hoping to learn something, to test your own thoughts against.

You lurk only to return to your own little mini-website, called a "blog", and publish a response, a critique, a commendation, a trumpeteer's flomgullinquishment.

Nobody, unless they also are a BLOG ADDICT, can understand you, nor do they want to.

(3.) If you're a blogger, you're a web dweller.

You spend a lot of time on the web.

You do webby things, causing time to vanish rapidly.

"Just one more hour", you say,

then realize shortly thereafter:

ten have passed by.

You live in your blog, and in the blogs of others.

You post comments on any blog that strikes a chord or rubs you the wrong way.

You praise and attack.

You study and contemplate.

You burst with ideas encountered.

Your own mind feels larger every day.

[signed] Steven Streight aka Vaspers the Grate


carrie said...

ain't it the truth?

steven edward streight said...

Carrie careful now, that's a shunned or disadvantaged word, that "truth" you fling around like red chocolate uncandy bars to a partly depleted web hostess.

Yes, I must say I cannot disagree.

It is the truth, everything is say is meant to be therapeutic.

...another b.m.w.d.

Fern said...

Oh that all sounds a bit too close to the truth for me to be comfortable!

steven edward streight said...


Have I got that right? One more comfort zone bites the dust? Is that correct?

Well, my female type friend, this is indeed cause to rejoice.

Comfort weakens, makes soft, stupifies, discombobulates us. Shun comfort and ease at all costs. Be stoic. Toughen up.

Gotta shut up now. Time to make that blasted coffee.


steven edward streight said...

Case in Point.

Here's a comment I just posted on Hello World Blog (South Africa) -- remember, I am the Official Global Super Blogger, 2005 -- pertaining to JCW and Fundable attracting monied tech people, not yet me, however.

What a grrrate and ripe controv-op (controversy opportunity).

To get Jeremy's attention, or just to waste a few minutes I didn't care for the shape of, so sacrificed them on the altar of idle gestures...

...I posted this response for rich...! to read and laugh:


Frankly George, Steven sallies 4th to discombobulate this in its entirety (my fave new self-proclaimed buzz word, "entirety"), its entirety I say!

I'm tired of playing "catch up with Jeremy C. Wright" every time I have time to turn around.

Now what newfangled, complex, opaque technutolgy must we stop what we're doing to grok and clock?

It becomes a matter of extreme and noted annoyance to have to change all the time. Change. Change. Change.

[Ghost Editor: the remaining 4,895 repetitions of the same word, "change", coupled with the obviously imperial intentions of using such a shop-worn, old-hat, monotonous, endlessly serialized, pseudo-inevitablist, triumphalist, infinitist style that has no place in a modest and pragmatic blog, it was decided to "delete" those many thousands of senseless, meaningless words, leaving only the nano-tail of its beginning, which is now also its end.]




Dan-E said...

I don't know if my "mind feels larger every day" but for the most part, I agree with this blog. There's a lot of very fascinating insights here.

steven edward streight said...


did me a great and

friendly favor.

he took all 9 core

values of blogging,

...and evaluate his own blog

according to these qualities

and posting his musings for

all to read and ponder.

What a wonderful compliment

from a fellow blogger.

Thanks for the kind words here, dan-e.

steven edward streight said...

from: dan-e



"Ahoy there mate. Me seasick sees ye with the proper
primming can be oystered up for the packaging spree.

Oy loads of front-basking velocities.

So the main spring of the thing to do is to publish an
'email to the world', this techno-telepathic scene of
blogospheric fear.

The business hawk stares into the de-frocked

But where is the warning tide of choral fragrances?
the bespeaking fr"


First off, I don't even know how you even came across
my blog but I guess that's irrelevant. But hey, it's
yet another random stranger to leave a comment of some
sort so that's cool. Which brings me to my question
regarding your comment: HUH? Call me dense but I'm
completely lost after your first two lines, and even
those I think only just barely understand. It's one
thing when there's a comment by someone you never
realized read your blog but the nature of that comment
is completely new. Any chance of you writing back and
translating that for the blogging plebeians like me?

Anyway, I've been following your "Core Values" blog
for the last couple of weeks and there's a lot of good
stuff there so, thanks for writing that and keep it
up. As for mine, I hope you found my humble little
blog a fun read.



STEVEN/VASPERS: "an email to the world" is what blog pioneer Doc Searls once called the blog.

This is a rare gem of a poetic and precise insight.

As easy as email, we all can now publish content to the web.

Bloggers = Universal Communicators