I don't get it. How can there be two of me, when I'm no one at all?
I mean, what gives? And she's all the way out, er, in Indonesia, or Neptune, or Alpha Centauri (my hometown). I forget where she said she struggles to live. But wherever it is, there's something in the water. Or Kool Aid.
See, she last night Skyped me. I know. That sounds dirty, doesn't it? Well, that's just your filthy thought life rearing its ugly decapitated head again.
Anyway, as she Skyped me, I learned that there are two ways to deal with online detractors, abusive commenters, and general rabble rousers at your site...
CyberGal Anti-Flame Tips:
(1) Rant endlessly on the topic, even if you know absolutely *nothing* about it.
Quote: "I can jabber forever on any topic. I have strong opinions about every single thing in the universe, and it doesn't matter if I don't have a clue as to what I'm talking about, or if I'm using correct protocols and terminology."
(2) Use foreign language sentences in reply to flames.
She gave me two French sentences, taken from her Mac translator program thingamajig. You can see how I used them over at A Jack of All Blogs.
One is the French version of "I'm sorry, I was cleaning out my sock drawer, what did you say?"
The other is the French version of "You may not be full of crap, but you still smell bad anyway."
[EDITOR: Deep link post comment URLs will be provided shortly, in this post.]
CONCLUSION: Don't mess with this lady. She'll devour your empty head while she forces you to polish her storm trooper boots. Spit polish. Very shiney.
Pure and utter freaking genius.
I...am...deeply...humbled...and grateful. She's not too shabby of a Skyper, too.