Wednesday, August 23, 2006

video authenticity

I have been putting lots of my original lecture and music videos up on Vaspers the Grate. See sidebar link, soon to be added here, of All Vaspers Videos at YouTube.

A few fans have asked: "Are you trying to be avant garde?"

I have no idea why anyone would ask such an absurd question. I have to confess right now: I don't know how to "act" or "try to be". I have tried to be someone or something, sure. Back in grade school, a few times. Maybe once or twice in high school. But I'm not cut out for theatre or imaginative writing.

I'm very ordinary and prosaic. I eat regular lunches and grow normal flowers. I have not the slightest foggiest notion how to "be" anything. I just do what I do. I have been expressing myself in blogs for going on 3 solid years now. Why the sudden arousal of video apprehensions and visual hermeneutics?

I have repeatedly expressed the thought that I just am me, and cannot otherwise be. I'm not trying to be anything. What ppl see in my videos, hear in my podcasts, and read in my blogs and email is just me. That's all it can be.

I admire those who can seem to waltz right out of their ingrained character. That means their true self is temporarily artificialized and marginalized, while the false front goes to work.

Actors can train themselves to act like something they want to be, or need to pretend to be. I hear that some people decide to be edgy or controversial or radical. I don't know how they do it. I cannot decide to be some way, then be it. I'm trapped in my authenticity.

If someone thinks I'm trying to be something, I sure wish they'd teach me how to pull that stunt.

In actual fact, my videos are spontaneous and unthought-out. I just turn the camera on and go. It's the core values of blogging, but applied to video blogging (vlogging).

I must explore every dumb idea and profound thought. Every twinkle in the eye and wrinkle in the forhead: every inspiration and doubt. Make my esoteric blogopedic treasures available in human lingo, down to the slowest mind imaginable, all inclusive, with never ends.

The upside down head (in "blogocombat manifesto VIDEO") was a mistake at first, very sleepy, then I just rolled with it. I don't know how to be what you say avant garde as you call it. I just know how to get angry and defend the things and people I care about.

I don't want to be a JABHIV (Just Another Boring Head In Video). So I use creepy home-made low tech video effects and call it space shuttle phase shifting, because it is. I do anything but sit there and jabber like a million other vloggers.

Maybe some day I'll figure out how to be really, delightfully infotaining.

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